"...and now it's been 10 years, I'm still wonderin' who to be."

[pennywhistle]

Mom and I had The Talk today.

The "What if my appendage problems don't improve and I can't finish court reporting school" talk.

Obviously, that would SUCK.  But as we approach the three year anniversary of starting this program, it's something to think about.  The trade-in on my student machine is up in September, and we need to decide if we're going to fork over almost $4000 for a professional writer or not.  Mom is going to talk to the chiropractor on Thursday, and I'd also like him and my teacher to talk.  If my hands can get better and stay better, then GREAT.  If they can be healed, but writing is going to injure them again, then there's a problem.

I want to graduate with a court reporting degree.  I want to be a captioner.  It's not what I originally thought I'd do with my life, and if I had unlimited funds to take whatever classes I wanted wherever I wanted, it wouldn't be my first choice; but it's an interesting vocation, and I could be good at it.  Also, it makes a shitload of money.  And seeing as I'm currently $16,000 in debt for school, I need a financially sound major.

If I can't finish court reporting...the current thought is to finish up my gen eds as a transfer major at Clark State.  It's cheaper here to finish what would be my freshman and sophomore years.  Then I would move back with my parents (oy) and finish up at UC.  It has been discussed that I might then get my MLS.  I'm not as passionate about libraries as my mom, dad, and cousin are, but I would be good at it, and it pays well.  It's better than business school - YUCK.

Why the fuck do I have to dance all over the place about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life?! ;_;  My youngest cousin will be graduating with a bachelor's this spring...and he was held behind a year in elementary school!  Why can't I get off my ass and GRADUATE with SOMETHING?!

I know that I am very lucky to have parents that are helping me pay for everything.  But I'm draining their money fast.  I need to FINISH and get a job where I can make enough money to pay back ALL of my debts. ;_;



(And, just for fun, I decided to injure my right ankle a few minutes ago.  OW MOTHERFUCKING OW ;_;)

Comments

[ciananguissette.livejournal.com]

First...don't define or compare yourself to ANYONE else. You will always end up a failure in one thing or anyother that way.

Second, if you aren't truly passionate about something...don't do it. You will be "lost" the rest of your life even if you are making money.

Third, have faith and patience. Faith in those around you who love you, the Divine in whatever form you believe it to be, and most importantly, youself.

[queensheba.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for the card and gift card! I just got it today!

I am hoping that I can come to Shadowbox with you on Friday night, I will figure it out ASAP!

[coyotemama.livejournal.com]

Definitely don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others in school, it'll only make you feel discouraged. Of course, there's always Willow, who will be in school for at least another six years. Yeesh! It's good that you are thinking about all the possibilities now. Good luck and try not to get too stressed out about it. *hugs*

[mermaiden.livejournal.com]

*HUGE hugs* What's going to make you *happy*, Penny? All the money in the world and a stressful/painful job is not a life worth living... Or- at least- in my idea...

But then- what is your heart telling yout to do? Not out of obligation to anyone else... but to yourself?

[marcelle42.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know the feeling for sure. I agree with everyone who said not to compare yourself -- I know I always feel stupid when I compare myself with my brother, but I also know I would have killed myself if I did what he's doing.

You'll figure it all out. I have faith.

[http://users.livejournal.com/___ifwinterends/]

You know, there really are a ton of lucrative careers that don't require a diploma. For a while there, in the 90's, you needed one. But you really don't anymore. People go to school because it's expected, but I bet that well over 50 percent don't even end up in a profession that has anything to do with their majors. Companies will train. You can work your way up from receptionist to a GOOD salary position in many companies in many different fields. You can take specialty classes and stop wasting all your money on General ad classes, too. You could be an IT person- just take some classes. You could do hair design- just take the classes. SO SO SO many professions that really don't cost that much to educate yourself into and that have a growth potential much larger than any college diploma will, anyway. Diplomas really don't guarantee a job. The only jobs for which I think they are truly necessary are graduate school degrees (which obviously you need an undergrad degree first)- law and medicine. Although you can work in both fields without a degree, just not as a lawyer or doctor. But, yeah. I don't understand the point of going to college unless your heart is dead-set on a career that absolutely requires one. If you're not 100 sure or happy with a certain career prospect, you could get into about a billion companies/jobs that make you just as unhappy but won't cost you anything. I never understood the concept of putting yourself in debt before even being really sure you need a degree for what you wanna do- although I see a ton of people do it. I think it's unfortunate.

[octavialuna.livejournal.com]

i still don't know what i'm going to be when i grow up either...
*hugs*