Stolen from suraimu

[pennywhistle]

Lessons to be Learned From Labyrinth
By NytAngel98

1. Don't run around in the park looking like a Renn Faire reject. You'll be late getting home.

2. Shut up and look at the pretty owl.

3. Don't run through the streets looking like a soaked Faire reject. Only in movies will you get away with it.

4. Prevent cruelty to sheepdogs. Take them into the home, not the garage.

5. Be like Sarah. Magically dry off completely when you step inside a house.

6. Don't dream about your mom's boyfriend. It's unhealthy.

7. If you want the kid to shut up, don't tell him a story involving his kidnapping. That'll only make it worse.

8. Listen the goblins in your mirror. They know what to do.

9. Do not run from the pretty owlman. Play with his glitter and his balls. (crystal balls, that is).

10. Don't scream in terror when he throws a snake at you. Scream in joy. Snakes rock.

11. Giggle uncontrollably whenever you see a crystal and point out to him that he's playing with his balls.

12. It's always further than you think.

13. If he says you have 13 hours, plan for 6.

14. Not a single mention of pieces of dessert confectionaries commonly made with such ingredients as flour, sugar, and milk.

15. Inhabitants of the Labyrinth can be bribed with cheap plastic.

16. Go through the walls, but at a slow pace. You don't need a concussion from something you thought was a hidden turn.

17. He didn't say hello, he said 'allo. But that's close enough.

18. Wait for the whole story. If the worm says don't go that way, ask why.

19. Stop whining. It's never fair.

20. J's tights get tighter in every shot. Or the bulge gets bigger. You decide.

21. Kicking goblins is not only good exercise and good intimidation tactics to prevent a coup d'etat. It's also really, really fun.

22. Inhabitants of the Labyrinth randomly burst into song whenever they damn well please.

23. Your mother was a fraggin' aardvark.

24. Lipstick is useless.

25. Learn to climb walls. It's easier.

26. If you have a choice between up or down, and you came from up, and you don't know where down goes, GO UP.

27. You do not have a basis for comparison. Stop whining before Jareth does something really mean.

28. Toldja to plan for 6 hours. See what happens?

29. The Cleaners means you have J's attention. Jareth loves you. He has strange ways of showing it.

30. Talking heads on the wall are false alarms. Unless you're on acid.

31. Talk to the bird on the wiseman's head. He knows more.

32. Sometimes it seems we're not getting anywhere, when in fact, we are.

33. How's that for brain power?

34. Goblins can be easily overpowered with small rocks. Take this into consideration.

35. Goblins are friends with chickens.

36. Jareth is not cruel to children. He made Toby stop crying, didn't he?

37. Toby does not have Jareth's eyes. Jareth is delusional. Call the Goblins in White Coats.

38. Always leave a contribution in the little box.

39. Ludo...talk...short choppy sentences. Connective...words...gone.

40. Knock and the door will open.

41. Don't expect anything from the knockers.

42. The fireys are not your friends. The fireys are disturbed. Leave. Quickly. While they're otherwise detained.

43. If you feel the urge to take off their heads, make sure you have someone standing by on the walltop with a rope.

44. Don't kiss Hoggle. Not only is it unsanitary, it will take you somewhere you don't wanna be.

45. Likewise, don't take up any offers to become Prince of the Land of Stench.

46. Bring a gasmask.

47. I shall fight you all to the death!

48. Always ask for permission first. Don't shoot first and ask later.

49. DON'T EAT THE PEACH! Unless you wanna go dancing.

50. The air is sweet and fragrant.

51. You can't look where you're going if you don't know where you're going.

52. Amnesia is fun. Now get over it.

53. You must do it alone why? That's not how it is done. You and your goody-goody tactics.

54. The Escher room is fun. I will marry Jareth just to own that room.

55. How many people do you know who can pull off defying gravity and singing well at the same time?

56. Jareth's hair remains the same even when he's upside-down. Now that's a magic called hairspray.

57. JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!

58. Take him up on his offer. You can go back on the fearing and obeying

part later. After the divorce settlement.

59. He does too have power over you.

60. Never play Scrabble with Sir Didymus.

61. In closing, if you ever get an urge to wish your baby or sibling away, picture yourself spending the rest of your life in prison. Or with Jareth. It's your choice on which one would be worse.

Comments

[ice-sea.livejournal.com]

*^^* Cute. My favorites~

17. He didn't say hello, he said 'allo. But that's close enough.

25. Learn to climb walls. It's easier.

Thanks for posting that!

[malanai.livejournal.com]

I love your icon!

[ice-sea.livejournal.com]

Thanks~ I love yours, too :)