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Jun. 19th, 2003 08:40 pmI'm really bummed to find that I missed Mitch Hedberg in Dayton last Friday
:-( *pouts* He's my 3rd favorite comic behind Robin Williams and Eddie Izzard. I saw him last year and he was HYSTERICAL. I wanted to see him this year, I just completely forgot to check when he was going to be in town. Poo.
Some of my favorite Mitch quotes:
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."
On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana at...
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.
I played golf...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...You're supposed to yell 'fore' but I was too busy saying there ain't no way that's gonna hit him.
Foosball fucked up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a backflip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufranes. No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You fuckers are selfish....the Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct take over their mouths, and they're hungry. That's a doublewhammy. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufranes.
Hee hee ^_^
:-( *pouts* He's my 3rd favorite comic behind Robin Williams and Eddie Izzard. I saw him last year and he was HYSTERICAL. I wanted to see him this year, I just completely forgot to check when he was going to be in town. Poo.
Some of my favorite Mitch quotes:
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."
On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the fuck did you get that banana at...
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.
I played golf...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...You're supposed to yell 'fore' but I was too busy saying there ain't no way that's gonna hit him.
Foosball fucked up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin 'round and round. I can't do a backflip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufranes. No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing. You fuckers are selfish....the Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct take over their mouths, and they're hungry. That's a doublewhammy. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufranes.
Hee hee ^_^
