Dec. 9th, 2008

Dear Santa,

What up, yo? Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote to you. In regards to my last letter, please be assured I'm not bitter that you never brought me that My Little Pony flutter pony I asked for. I get it. You gotta take care of your own people, and times were tough back in the '80s.

I have a problem, Santa, and that's why I'm writing you now. I'm hoping you can help me. Remember back 20 years ago or so when Christmas was confined to just Decemeber? Then it started leaking into "after Thanksgiving," and that was all right, I guess, though I do get really tired of people asking me "so are you ready for Christmas?" ("Yup." I reply. Ready to watch a movie and eat sushi? Sure am.)

But now, Santa, Christmas is starting in September! September!! This has to be hard on you and the elves. It's added to your production time, and it gives kids more time to add to their lists. Frankly, it makes everyone cranky by the time December finally gets here because they're so sick of hearing "Christmas is coming! Are you ready! Christmas is coming!" for months on end. They're fed up. There's only so much Christmas the world can take, Santa. It's too much.

So I'm writing you today to ask, could we cut it back, please? Could you make everyone agree not to mention Christmas until mid-November maybe? That would be swell. Thanks Santa. Give the reindeer a hug for me.




September 2010


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